Straw, Camels, & Spoons
What Do They Have to Do with Dogs (and Surprise—Humans!)
You've most definitely heard "the straw that broke the camel's back," but have you heard "I'm out of spoons"? Those two statements share the same sentiment: "I'm overwhelmed and hit my limit." These concepts apply to humans, dogs, and other animals.
It seems silly that a large animal capable of carrying heavy loads over long distances and unforgiving terrain could be toppled by something as small as a single piece of straw. Once you have hit your limit, you can try to push through, but you will not be anywhere near your full capacity.
Humans: A Day of Straws
Imagine you have returned to your first full week of work after the long holiday stretch:
First thing Monday morning, you break your favorite coffee cup. That's a bummer, but you grab another.
Next, you're heading to work and hit every single red light. That's annoying, but hey, more time for coffee.
Oh no, you're now stuck behind a school bus—you're officially late for work. Very annoying.
You finally get to work and are greeted with at least half a dozen emails about a project not even due for weeks. IT needs you to change all your passwords immediately. The printer is jammed. You forgot your lunch on the kitchen counter. And you have a quarterly one-on-one with your boss today. That's a lot for a Monday after a holiday break. But you make it—stressed, but it was fine.
Finally, you clock out only to sit in standstill traffic because of an accident. Your commute doubles. The GPS shows a line of red, and the "traffic jam" time just keeps climbing—10, 15, 30, 45 minutes.
You get home. You open the door to your partner's/kids'/roommate's shoes on the floor in the entryway. They do it all the time; normally, you ignore it and just move them.
But today, you're so overstimulated, tired, and frustrated that you can't keep it in and yell.
It was, by most standards, a normal Monday, and not a lot really happened, but you hit your limit of small annoyances. The small, normally inconsequential act of someone's shoes being left out was the metaphorical straw that caused you to topple—just like that camel with an out-of-proportion reaction.
The World’s Stress Affects Us All—Including Our Animals
The stress of the current world—whether from work, financial uncertainty, global events, or societal pressures—has a direct impact on most people. This chronic stress doesn't just affect humans; it can also affect the animals in our lives.
When humans experience elevated stress levels, it often changes how they interact with their pets. Short tempers, inconsistent routines, and emotional energy that feels "off" can be confusing and even stressful for animals. Dogs, in particular, are highly attuned to our emotions and may react to our stress by becoming anxious, hyperactive, or withdrawn.
Spoon Theory: A Finite Resource
If the camel’s back metaphor explains how stressors build up, “spoon theory” describes how our capacity to handle stress is finite. Think of spoons as your early morning baseline, representing your energy and resilience. Throughout the day, you hand over some of those spoons during your interactions with others and the world.
A Day of Spoons:
You start your day with 20 spoons:
You take your dog on an early morning bathroom break. They bark at a rabbit and pull, hurting your arm = -2 spoons.
You get home and find you’re out of your favorite breakfast cereal = -1 spoon.
On your way to work, you hit every red light. Not a huge deal, but annoying = -2 spoons.
At work, you make small talk with coworkers—pleasant, but still draining = -2 spoons.
Emails, Zoom meetings, and interruptions from coworkers like Paul (who’s completely wrong) = -5 spoons.
You get word that an extended family member has been hospitalized, and you need to make time to visit = -10 spoons.
After work, you hit minimal traffic while picking up your kids for sports. But the kids aren’t ready—they were playing video games, and now you’re late = -4 spoons.
Finally, you start dinner and realize the dishwasher didn’t run, so there are no clean pots = -3 spoons.
Back-up plan: order food, but the wait is 45 minutes, and you’re starving = -2 spoons.
By the time you sit down to eat, you’re officially out of spoons. When the kids start bickering, you snap. Did you mean to yell? No, but you’re done with the day.
Spoons and Dogs
Dogs also start their day with a set amount of spoons, representing their ability to cope with stressors. Each dog has a different number of spoons based on factors like their health, sleep, environment, and energy level. Here’s how their day might look:
A loud noise, like a car horn, might cost -2 spoons.
Barking at the mail carrier = -3 spoons.
A stressful walk with unfamiliar dogs and distractions = -5 spoons.
A thunderstorm or fireworks = -6 spoons.
By the end of a busy day, even a small trigger—like another dog walking by—might cause an overreaction because their spoons are gone.
Managing and Replenishing Spoons
For both humans and dogs, managing stress and replenishing spoons is essential.
For Humans:
Rest and self-care: Get enough sleep, eat well, and set boundaries for your time and energy.
Breaks and decompression: Step away from stressful situations, practice mindfulness, or spend time on hobbies.
Awareness: Recognize when you’re running low on spoons and adjust your expectations for yourself and others.
For Dogs:
Quiet time: After stressful events, give them space to rest and recharge.
Enrichment: Use puzzle toys or sniffing games to engage their minds without overstimulation.
Consistency: Maintain a predictable routine to help them feel secure.
Cues: Pay attention to their behavior—if they seem tired or overwhelmed, adjust their environment to reduce stress.
Taking a Step Back
When everything feels overwhelming, it’s easy to let frustration take over. But pausing and stepping back can help you regain perspective. Consider whether your own stress is affecting your reactions and whether others—humans or pets—might also be struggling with their own depleted reserves.
By managing your own spoons, empathizing with others, and creating space for decompression, you can foster a calmer, more supportive environment for everyone—yourself, your loved ones, and your pets. And remember: no one can pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is the first step to helping those around you, whether human or animal.
